Introduction
I recently broke up with my boyfriend of two years, and we decided that it was best to stay friends. We agreed that neither of us wanted to put any pressure on the other person to start dating again, so we didn’t talk about anything else for a few weeks. Then one day, he reached out and asked if I reached out to my ex for coffee or something like that. We both agreed that this was an appropriate way to keep in touch with each other because it doesn’t involve any expectations about whether or not we’ll get back together—but at the same time, it feels like something more than just friends meeting up for coffee. I don’t know how long this will go on before either one of us decides it’s time to move on from each other completely.”
My ex reached out to me after we broke up and said he wanted to talk about us.
When your ex reaches out, it can be tempting to think that they want to get back together. But you should always keep in mind that the person who broke up with you might not have been ready for a relationship at all, and they might just be contacting you now because they’ve realized how much they miss being in one.
If this is the case, then your ex may just want some closure or validation from their past relationship–and there’s nothing wrong with providing it! In fact, sometimes having a conversation about what went wrong can help both parties move on from something painful (and possibly learn something about themselves).
I’m happy he reached out, but I don’t know how to respond.
I’m happy he reached out, but I don’t know how to respond.
The first thing to keep in mind is that there are no rules when it comes to communicating with your ex. You’re not going to get back together with him just because it’s been a month since his last text or call, and if you say something too eager or eager at all and he doesn’t respond well (or at all), then it could make things worse than they already were before the two of you broke up.
But here’s what I did: I waited until the next day before responding (and even then only after much thought). Then I wrote back casually–telling him about my day and asking about his plans for the weekend. Later on, when we texted again about meeting up for coffee sometime soon, I made sure that my response was friendly but noncommittal; basically saying that if he wanted me in his life again then great! But if not…that was fine too! I reached out to my ex and he responded – click to learn more about how to navigate communication with an ex.
I was trying to be mature and not text him back too quickly.
It’s important to know that responding too quickly is a big mistake. You don’t want to be the one who texts first, because then it looks like you care more than your ex does.
It’s also important not to wait too long before texting back–don’t wait more than 24 hours if possible!
If you don’t respond to their text message (or email) within 24 hours, they will think that you hate them and never want anything to do with them again, something bad happened in your life, and now all hope is lost, or both 1 & 2 above are true, which makes sense because.
But then he texted me again asking if I was going to talk to him.
When he texted me again, I didn’t reply immediately. I didn’t feel like I had to reply at all, or in the same way he did. And as much as it pains me to say this–I didn’t agree with him either!
When we were together and he was being difficult about something (like not wanting to go out), my instinct was always to give in and do what he wanted so that we could move on from an argument quickly. But now that we’re apart and this isn’t affecting our relationship anymore? It doesn’t matter how much effort it takes for either of us: It’s just not worth arguing over!
And I feel like I should have replied by now.
You don’t have to reply. If you want to take your time, that’s okay. You don’t have to respond right away and if you do, make sure it’s a good response. I’ve been thinking about what I would say and whether or not I should even respond at all.My ex has probably received the message by now that he should stop contacting me, but I still wonder why we broke up because there are some things about our relationship that bother me so much, and it’s been a couple of days now.
The relationship is over, but that doesn’t mean you can’t keep in touch with your ex
You’re not the only one who has to deal with the end of a relationship. Your ex has feelings too and he or she might want to talk about what happened, so don’t be afraid to reach out. If you do decide to reach out, make sure that your intentions are good and that your motives are pure.
You should also keep in mind that it is possible for an ex-partner to become a friend again over time; however, this can only happen if both parties respect each other enough not just as individuals but also as former lovers who shared some very special moments together at one point in time (or several).
Conclusion
The relationship is over, but that doesn’t mean you can’t keep in touch with your ex. In fact, I think it’s important to stay friends with your exes so that they know how much they meant to you and vice versa.